chika365

 
If you've made it to my dA account from high school, welcome, I think. If you're here chances are you're a well-meaning friend scouting me out on the internet, or you're Brady. (Calling you out, dude.)

If you found this account by way of my near-defunct instagram account, I commend you for making it this far. You've likely seen all my videos over there and are therefore immune to my cringe so feel free to continue as you please. If you stop answering my texts I'll know why.

If I linked you here because you're another friend from college who was curious about my high school life, a) SWEET BANANA BREAD WHY, and b) you're probably here for the emo poetry. I suggest you click 'gallery', scroll through the list of folders in the sidebar, and browse the 'why not explore' folder, which I've made for that exact purpose. It contains the 'best' of my poetry and several poorly written short stories I did for assignments and sometimes just for fun. You may have already read 'Jewelled Locket' via reddit, depending on how well you know me. I implore you not to scroll through the other folders, not for the sake of your own safety, but for the sparing of my own humiliation. They contain old fanart and photoshopped stuff from roleplays and the like. If it's that important to you then just come over so we can go through some of my sketchbooks. I'm really too tired to delete all my old stuff. Please just stick to the specified folder if you love me

Which brings me to Brady. If you are Brady and you're here to try and win a wager you made with some weird Asian chick from class whom you think is cute for some reason, then voila, you've come to the right place. Bring a light and a couple days' food. You're gonna need it. As stated above, it would mean a significant amount to me if you stick to my pretty little curated folder. If you decide to be a meanie and go through my old fanart I will be very very sad. You came here for emo poetry; stick to the emo poetry. Everything under 'journal entries' (near the 'gallery' tab) is also pretty hilarious. A lot of it is old roleplay memes but some of the rambly stuff I still like to go back and read.

For any poetry readers out there, know that some of the love poems were written long before I knew what love was even like, and the ones that were written later are still very juvenile due to me being in high school at the time. Feel free to ridicule me because I think it's hilarious. You're all used to hearing about my relationship drama by now so this should provide a healthy amount of content for the foreseeable future. Don't ask who they were about. I don't wanna talk about those guys!

For any of my previous friends who are still following this account, I've missed you! Everything's been so wild. If any of you want to reconnect then feel free to message me (I'll likely be lurking around for a bit). I hope fervently that life has been treating you well. We went through some crazy stuff together. Seri, I love you, you're a great person, message me on hangouts sometime bebbeh I miss you! Galaxy, HAPPY WEDDING OK???? Everyone else I forgot to mention, stay sun-shinin', you're amazing.

Lots of love and a whole heap of good hugs,
Madeleine
 

Where was I?!

Where was Night Owls?

Where was anything, really, on this account?

Things just trickled to a stop after the second installment. We here at the Night Owls headquarters (me) were really excited to get started but we just couldn't find a rhythm after that. I have like two or three chapters in process that all tapered off into the nothingness of February.

Ah, February. Honestly it's time I talked about it to someone, anyone. I told Gala a small bit of it and maybe a bit also to Luke and Seri but nobody knows the whole. February was bad, bad. Sheep-bleating baaaad. Depression hit an all time low. I don't remember a whole lot about February, which is pretty much how it goes. I remember a couple things:
-college pamphlets on the table and on the counter and on the floor of my bedroom
-a lot of questions running through my mind on sleepless nights
-crying in the bathroom with the water running
-crying in the shower
-crying on the floor
-crying on my bed
-crying, just a lot of crying
-a lot of questions
-confusion
-nothingness
-Seri sending cheesy valentines on Hangouts
-being by myself most of the month
-starting track
-questions, so many, with nothing for their answers
-alternatively nothing with the only question being why there wasn't something and then that question left and everything was just blank
So yeah, a lot happened, and a lot of nothing happened. I don't remember what I did during that time. Pretty sure it was school and a lot of book reading but I don't remember what books, as well as a good deal of staring at the ceiling, both during the day and at night. There was a small period of existential crisis when I thought about college and not-college and what-if and when. There was another period after figuring all that out that was just nothing, just lonesome and sadness and blankness. That part was scary because I don't remember much about it and that's always hard to surface from.

So March was me surfacing. Slowly I had a series of better days. As an overcompensating rebound, my anxiety took over for a little, not nearly as bad as it has been in the past, but still there. It was kind of relieving to feel that, at least. Part of that anxiety was waking up feeling groggy, or becoming sad over something, and then being worried that I was going to spiral again. It's been one crazy ride to here, the middle of April, but sometime in March things evened out and I'm doing ok now.

Winter always gets me. It was similar last year but not as bad.

So yeah, that's the lengthy, TMI truth about where I went for a couple months. For the first few of my absence (November? December? January...), it was just me adjusting to some changes and being pretty busy. Then February. Then March. And now it seems I'm back again, for the time being, and I hope to stay for awhile

Note: I usually get a lot of supporting messages on these journals about tough times and I want you all to know I really appreciate them. You always tell me I can talk to you if need be. Thank you so much for leaving that avenue open. While it's often hard for me to talk about these things to people WHILE they're actually happening (because my brain is a big dork), I really love that you all support me and endure these long absences and are always there waiting when I return.

Love, so much love,
Madeleine

Tagged by a fan and senpai and peer and sister and mutual and whatever other things, the lovely KuroGalaxy14

It's the ten questions thingy again, I'm sure you all know it.

Questions from her:

Mah questions:

1. If you were transported to the Beyblade world and suddenly found yourself standing right next to Johannes, what would you do?
Me: Not this again.
Johannes: Not you again!
Me: We could solve this problem by walking in opposite directions.
Johannes: *squints*
Me: *walks away*
2. What is your favorite kind of... Pasta?
Any kind without disgusting chunks of tomatoes and as long as it's al dente, hopefully with cheese that I am allergic to.
The answer is Tortellini.
3. If you could be any character in MFB, who would you be and why?
Yuu Tendo because he gets to hang out with Tsubasa and he's really smart which is how we Asians are supposed to be and he's a kid so he gets away with stuff and I wanted to be blonde when I was five
4. Do you have a favorite OC? (Can be your OC or someone else's.) Who and why?
It's probably Cassidy, who is another version of my best friend. Or Knightingale or Maxys or all the other names my best friend has gone by in my head-fandom.
5. Can dogs be blue? (Thanks to mah friend Nami for this one hehe. She didn't know why I asked her for a random question... Until she read this, that is.)
Yes. Have you ever read Smiling Through a Monday? Bad question to ask me, Galaxy. Bad, bad question.
6. Have you ever thought about what any villain would look like with pink hair/wearing the color pink?
I'm thinking of Scarlett Overkill from Minions. And the leader lady from Lilo and Stitch. Thanks.
7. You are in a castle. You are the heir to the throne of this castle. You walk into the throne room and find that your father, the king, has been turned into a duck. What do you do?
Me: Dad.
My dad: Madeleine, pick me up so I can see out the window.
Me: *does*
My dad: Ah, isn't my garden beautiful?
Me: Yes, dad. Why are you a duck?
My dad: Sweetheart, you can be anything you want if you only try hard enough. I love you.
Me: you too dad
7.Who is your favoritest person on DA and why?
telepasticNoir because I love her
8. Do you like being tagged in things?
Sure
9. Did you notice that there are actually eleven questions here instead of ten because I put two question number sevens?
Yes because I read this question first
10. Are you glad this is the last question?
My heart is a void and I have no emotions

I'm not gonna tag anyone beCAUSE I AM GOING TO WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER OF NIGHT OWLS~~~~

Tagged by KuroGalaxy14 XD

Rules:Tag 8 people you wanna know better

Name: Madeleine XD

Star sign: Aries. Maybe Pisces. IDK. Not like they're real anyway.

Average hours of sleep: Ehh?? Sleep? It varies. Anxiety and insomnia are all around me

Luck number: There is none????

Last thing I googled: I think it was some kind of Bible study thing

Favorite fiction character: Stanford Pines, or maybe Soos, or even Wendy or Candy or Mako from ATLOK

What am I wearing right now?: My pajama shorts and a mint green t-shirt from the Special Ed event in 2014

When did you join Deviantart?: 3 years ago

Watchers: 39

What do I post?: Poetry mostly, and short stories

Do I run anymore accounts?: The-Dragon-Emperor 

Do I get lots of comments: I guess...

Why did you choose this URl?: My friend of 5 years used to call me chika

Tagging:
...ahh.... telepasticNoir 

Hello all,

Don't know who much is following me anymore. Just wanted to talk about some upcoming events.

Over and over again I say that I will be coming back to deviantArt but it never happens XP And I haven't checked my old roleplay account in forever. But anyway.

Been dealing with some issues over the past couple months, won't go into details, but I haven't been able to post a lot. Only a couple dumb journals and an out-of-the-blue article on feminism. But I hope to get some writing done soon.

In the plan for this summer after I graduate

-MORE NIGHT OWLS YEA~ funny story, I actually found some old old old old old document from like four years ago in my laptop with brainstorming for an EMBARRASSING NINJA TURTLES FIC THAT I FORGOT ABOUT ;_; Even before KuroGalaxy14 and I met on Fanfiction.net, I had this stupid fic that was kind of the prelude to Smiling through a Monday and eventually Night Owls. Anyway, these prompts are gonna serve as a base for my (turtle-less) fic. Ah, the days of 135-word chapters, bad sentence structure, and very few reviews. I'm so glad that was my starting point because I had so much fun. I totally encourage you all to write fanfics if you've been thinking about it, even if you're not good at it, because it's so much funnnnn~

-Some awesome narnia/Tolkien-esque saga about two kids who get pulled into an alternate world. My take on an age-old cliche and probably an eventual metaphor for depression......it sounded better in my head.

-LOTS and LOTS of SLAM POETRY

So in conclusion....TALK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE if you want to hear any more about the stories above, then just SHOOT ME A PM.

Love you all,
Madeleine

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Find me on tumblr: saltlylegolas.tumblr.com