Let's talk labels

Two labels, specifically: Extrovert and introvert.

I'm sure they're words you've heard! People generally fall into one category or the other. Why am I here writing about introversion and extroversion? Because I feel that both of these things are important parts of us and those around us. If we are to understand ourselves and each other, those two little words might help us take it a step further.

Let's start with standard, cliche definitions of these two words. These may be the two definitions you hold unconsciously in your mind.

INTROVERT - Shy and antisocial! Probably hates the world! An emo who likes to sit in their room and listen to sad music all day, never making contact with people outside of their personal bubble! Anxiety attacks!

EXTROVERT - Annoying! Constantly hanging around! Absolutely has to know everything about everyone! Always in your business! A little too much sunshine for one person!

So, these are our labels. Before we get down to my main metaphors etc., let's talk about how we approach labels in general. Regardless of the stigma and hype surrounding labels - think don't judge me, don't define me, you don't know me, on and on - we all unconsciously fit people and things into little boxes. It's just the way our minds are engineered to work. And this is NOT A BAD THING. It can be a positive tool in learning about the world around us. HOWEVER, think about it - can you really describe yourself using ONLY ONE WORD?

We're people! We're complex, highly emotional creatures. We're in conflict and a constant state of change and growth. Trying to define ourselves by a singly word can be constricting. Trying to make 'rules' for the 'certain group' that we fall into can be suffocating and cause a lot of insecurity when we feel as though we no longer 'fit' in any category. A 'label' should be an adjective that opens up a new view. Let me give you an example of my standpoint on this. I'm going to use the word 'Asian'.

Because I'm ASIAN, I am:
-A person who is of Asian blood

But I am NOT:
-Addicted to rice: not all Asians like rice! Some of us are picky eaters!
-A person with very slanty eyes: some from Asia, such as Indians and Filipinos, do not have yellow skin and 'cat eyes'.
-Someone who wears kimonos: this is Japanese, which is only a small part of Asia.

As you can see, my 'labels' are only a general category to narrow down the more intricate parts of me. You cannot decipher me simply by knowing one adjective that describes me. They say the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and this is true! Keep in mind that 'labels' are a beginning to learning - what comes after is forging a strong bond with a person which can only be gained by close and frequent contact, as well as a true interest on your part! This applies to learning about yourself as well.

Now that that's finished: let's talk about two certain 'labels', INTROVERT and EXTROVERT.

I've found that these two words can be expressed a bit more easily when we think about them in terms of glows and shines.

Both introverts and extroverts have their own kind of light: extroverts shine, while introverts glow.

Extroverts shine with a radiant light that touches all around them. It thrives and is easily noticed in a crowd. Introverts have a light that is just as beautiful but needs a little more space and quiet in order to be seen. This does not mean that the introverts' lights are weaker! It just means that the way they express it is different from the way extroverts express it. Introverts' soft lights need time to recharge, which is why an introvert may seem to spend a lot of time alone. Extroverts with their radiance also need to recharge, but they do it in a different way. Often they are more charged when they are able to interact with other people.

If you are an INTROVERT making friends with an EXTROVERT: remember that extroverts may seem to talk 'too much' because many do not like awkward silences! And really - who DOES like awkward silences? We all just have different ways of dealing with them. Remember that you have to volley the conversation back a little bit. Another thing to remember is that extroverts are not shallow. They may seem to make a lot of small talk, but this also has to do with the awkward silence bit. They'll be eager to engage in the deep conversation that you crave, but get out of your comfort zone a little and YOU be the one to start it this time Just because extroverts may like to talk to a lot of people doesn't mean they won't be loyal to you and stick by you if you need them. Also remember that if you feel you need recharging time, you can tell them! Just because they can seem to be social butterflies doesn't mean they won't understand you. Just be forward and open with your feelings.

If you are an EXTROVERT making friends with an INTROVERT: remember that your friend may need more time alone than you're used to! Just because they're an introvert doesn't mean they don't like talking to people or that they don't want to have long conversations with you. Remember that many introverts dislike small talk. Engage them in deep and interesting conversations. Don't be offended if they don't always feel like going to big parties or concerts with you. Reassure them that you'll stick by them the whole time if they're having doubts. Just because they're an introvert doesn't mean they're shy - they don't dislike meeting new people, or don't want to share their glow with others. They may simply prefer to meet a new friend one-on-one or even over the internet. They do enjoy being close to people as long as they have space to glow.

I hope my thoughts on this subject have been helpful to some of you. If anyone has any additions or corrections please don't hesitate to comment!